This is the story of a girl
by delusaedisillusa
Summary: In which Cersei is the daughter from Joanna's Lannister first marriage


Cersei Lannister, former Marbrand was five years old as she started to hate.

It was like that time, when she had wanted to play with the boys only to be told she couldn't , because she was just a little girl.

Like when the teacher told the class to draw their pet, and she had been scolded for drawing a lion.

When she had wanted to play with dad, but she couldn't visit him, because he was sleepy.

It was all of it, only worse.

She looked at her new baby brother, a pink thing with yellow hairs, not understanding the whole fuss about a little something that could only cry and shit.

Even her new dad was different, he smiled and kissed her mother's forehead.

"Look at him Cersei, he is your splitting image!"

"I don't think so" she said clear and pointed, the way they had teached her to talk, the adults laughed.

Tywin Lannister had frowned a bit.

"His eyes are blue" she explained, the baby had scary blue eyes like Mrs. Tippy who had been their blind neighbor.

Joanna beemed. "Your eyes were just the same. Your little brother will resemble you like a twin" she caressed Cersei's curl, the same way her true daddy had done.

Mother looked fatigue, but happy, the way she had looked in her wedding pictures as she had married for the second time.

Cersei believed she laughed and smiled so much because her new father didn't.

"His name is Jaime, from the french "J'aime" I love. Because love is the most important thing." but she wasn't looking at Cersei, her eyes were looked with them of her husband, who glanced proud and loving at her and the baby.

A father, a mother and their child.

Cersei was just five years old but she felt the dread shallowing her.

She had no place in her mother's new family, she wouldn't play a main role anymore.

She would never forget Jaime's birth, it was the day she started to hate, the day bitterness and envy bloomed in her heart.

Dread added to the hate and jealousy she felt.

Joanna Lannister had married very young.

Her marriage had been a decent one because she'd worked for it.

That what she believed to be love, quickly vanished.

She could named the day it had been gone.

The pump for their aquarium had been defects, she'd asked for him to go to the shop, it had been two weeks before Cersei's birth and her swollen body didn't allowed to drive their little car.

He had watched the football match till the end "Please Jo, there are only fifteen minutes left!"

Three fishes had died.

Joanna had never been a soft hearted person, but blame the hormones, blame the image of her baby drowning in her womb, she couldn't say why. She refused to acknowledge it, but her love was gone.

Addam wasn't a cruel person, but he had belittled her feelings, he hadn't understand how important this had been for her.

"Jo, I'll buy you all the fishes you want. Please don't cry anymore. It isn't good for our princess!"

He had believed her sadness to be pregnancy inducted.

Joanna Lannister had cried because she had an epiphany.

She had married the wrong man. Not the worst, but not the man for her.

She was pregnant with the child from a man she didn't loved.

For an instant she hated the little girl she was carrying, but as Cersei had been born , she loved her. She may not love her husband anymore, but that didn't make the love for her daughter any smaller.

She hadn't that much time to grieve about her lost love. Addam worshipped Cersei from day one, his care was heartwarming and Joanna decided that affection was as good as love.

Little Cersei had been a daddy girl, Joanna didn't resent her, years later she had been happy and relieved that Addam had been able to spend so much time with his beloved "Ceci"

He had been gone six months after a pancreatic cancer had been diagnosticated.

Joanna was twenty two and already a widow.

Cersei had been desperate, she had wanted her father, was cranky, wouldn't sleep or let her sleep and behaved like a three year old nightmare.

She felt sorry for her, but she was exhausted, she tried to let her play with other children, but Cersei looked like a blonde angel she used her teeth like a piranha.

Joanna started to work for the main house as a secretary to Tywin Lannister.

She was too young to live only for Cersei, and soon she married her boss, who was related to her through his father and related to her late husband through his mother.

Cersei was visibly impressed by him, she was calmer, from the screaming wildcat to a normal girl.

Because of her work, she would often leave Cersei alone and she felt guilty.

After Addam's death they had shared a bed, together in their cozy house. Casterly Rock was immense, no more sleeping in mama's bed and Tywin had been adamant about hiring a nanny.

"So much changed for her, too soon! She is still so young!"

"It is good that she is so young. You can't teach an old dog new tricks!"

One day she announced her daughter her new pregnancy.

"Cersei you'll soon have a little brother! Isn't it amazing?"

"I want a cat!"

"Cersei you can have a cat and a brother. How does this sound?"

"A red cat. He should eat all the people I don't like"

"I'll see what I can do"

Her mother had a lion. Her new father was a lion even if he looked like a normal person. She had been cautious so he wouldn't devour her. Nanny told her that they would abandon her if she was too fussy and that her mother would soon have a new family. She couldn't have a lion or become one, because she wasn't a Lannister from Casterly Rock, she only lived there because of her mother, but she would have the most dangerous cat.

She would name him Joffrey!


End file.
